
What is Private Adoption?
Private adoption offers you an opportunity to plan an adoption for
your child. A private adoption is a private arrangement between
you and the prospective adoptive parents. This plan is facilitated
by a third party called a licensee.
The licensee, usually a lawyer or social worker,
is licensed by the Ministry of Community and Social Services to
place children for adoption.
Who can I talk to
about adoption?
The first person that you should talk to would be a private adoption
licensee. This person can give you detailed information about the
adoption process and explain to you the various adoption options
available to you.
If you decide to work with this licensee, the
licensee will hire an adoption worker who will provide you with
support, guidance, and suggestions regarding the details of your
adoption plan. Counselling is available for both parents and other
members of the birth family.
Is private adoption
legal?
Private adoption is legal. The Ministry has specific guidelines and requirements for all professionals involved in private adoption.
Who pays for the
services?
The prospective adoptive parents pay for all services (e.g. counselling, legal services etc.) regardless of your final decision.
How are adoptive parents screened?
Before a child can be placed in an adoptive home, the prospective
parents must be interviewed several times (home study) by a social
worker approved to perform this task. The social worker must be
satisfied with their ability to bring up a child in a loving, safe
and congenial home. They must be in good physical health, have enough
income to ensure the child's future and the ability to guide the
child to maturity. They are educated about all aspects of the adoption
process, with emphasis on the special role of adoptive parents.
The home study also includes references, police checks, financial
statements and medical reports.
In addition, when a couple wants to join ARCS,
they must attend a one-day workshop on open adoption. They then
arrange to meet with Jennie E. Painter for a two to three hour interview.
If the couple feels it is important for the child to have the opportunity
to maintain a relationship with members of the birth family, then
their names are added to our list of waiting adoptive parents.
What can I know about
the adopting parents?
You will have the opportunity to choose the kind of home and parents
you would like for your child.
All the adoptive parents prepare profiles of
themselves that will be presented to you. There may be up to 40
as this is the maximum number of couples that we work with at one
time. These letters contain information about the couple's values,
a description of all aspects of their lives, and how they hope to
develop a relationship with you.
You are then asked to short-list the couples,
choosing those couples that interest you the most. Additional information
about these selected couples will then be presented to you. (info
about couples' home, interests, education, employment, parenting
style, family etc.)
If you do not feel satisfied with any of the
homes presented, you will be offered further profiles. It is important
that you are satisfied with your choice and that you make your wishes
known.
Can I meet the adoptive
parents?
Once you have chosen a couple to parent your child, a match meeting
is arranged. A match meeting is where you are introduced to the
chosen couple by your licensee or social worker. All couples registered
with ARCS look forward to meeting with the birth parents. The meeting
can be held in your home, the ARCS office, or anywhere you would
feel comfortable.
This would be a structured meeting. Some preparation
is given to everyone in advance. Both birth parents and adoptive
parents are asked to submit questions/answers before the meeting.
What if my Doctor,
friend, co-worker etc. knows a family that wants to adopt my baby?
Ask that person to contact ARCS. We will make sure that the couple
has a home study completed, and a prepared profile to present to
you.
How does a child
become legally free for adoption?
Any time after the child is a full seven days old, the birth parent(s)
sign a Consent to Adoption. This consent must be signed in the presence
of a lawyer. If the birth father is acknowledging paternity, has
lived with or supported the mother, he must also sign the consent.
Following the signing of the consent, the birth parents have 21 days in
which they can change their minds and withdraw their consent. The withdrawal
must be in writing and the birth parent must obtain the withdrawal form from
the person placing the child for adoption (the Licensee). It is then the
responsibility of this Licensee to return the child to the birth parents.
The person arranging the adoption of your child
must offer you the opportunity to seek counselling and independent
legal advice before you sign the consent. If the birth parents are
under 18 years of age, in addition to signing the consent, you must
also be seen by a representative of the official guardian so that
all your rights are explained to you and you fully understand what
they are signing. Your social worker or the licensee will arrange
an appointment with the representative of the official guardian
in your area.
Can I change my mind?
You can change your mind at any time up to the end of the 21 days
after signing the Consent to Adoption. No one should pressure you
about your decision. Your social worker is there to help you sort
out whatever decision is right for your child and you.
What happens if the
Birth mother and Birth father disagree on the placement?
There are many different types of relationships between birth mothers
and birth fathers. Ideally, it is best if the birthparents agree
and participate in the adoption process together; however many birth
parents find this difficult and some are no longer in contact with
one another. In some cases, there is anger between the parents.
ARCS has experience in working with many different
situations and will be able to advise you regarding your specific
circumstances.
Will I be able to
see my baby in hospital?
Yes. You are the parent of the child and have all the rights of
a parent. However, birth parents differ in the amount of time and
kinds of contact they feel they can have with their babies. There
is no right or wrong way to be. Whatever is comfortable for you
is the right way.
Will my baby be placed
from the hospital directly into the adoptive home?
Where or when you place your baby with the adoptive parents is up
to you. The actual placement can occur wherever you feel most comfortable.
Many placements occur in the hospital but some occur in the birthparents'
home, church, our office, etc. In addition, some birthparents wish
to have some kind of ceremony to celebrate the child's birth and
the love that the birth and adoptive parents have for the child.
Your social worker will have ideas about adoption rituals.
Can I have pictures
of my baby and/or information on how he/she is doing after placement?
Talk to your social worker about your wishes. ARCS requires all
adoptive parents to provide pictures and letters about the child
at 1, 3, 6, 9 and 12 months after placement. If the birth parents
do not want to have these pictures or letters immediately, they
are kept on file and may be obtained at any time in the future.
Can I give my baby
a gift, or pictures of myself, the birth father and members of our
families?
Yes, this is possible and very much encouraged. Not only might it
be helpful and reassuring for you to do this, but may be beneficial
to your child.
What if I need someone
to talk to after the child is placed?
You may need support for a continued period of time after placement.
ARCS provides counseling to the birthparents until the adoption
is finalized. This is usually a nine-month period (after placement).
If further counseling is needed, you may wish to continue to work
with the same counselor or a referral is made to an appropriate
counselor.
Will I know when
my baby's adoption has been completed?
ARCS will inform you when the adoption has been completed. It takes
seven to nine months before an adoption is finalized in court. During
this time, the couple's social worker is visiting the adoptive family
to offer support and to see if the baby is thriving. A recommendation
by this social worker is made at least six months after placement.
This report is reviewed by the licensee and court. If everything
is in order, the adoption is finalized.
After the adoption
is finalized, will I ever be able to see my child?
In open adoption
contact among the child and adoptive and birth parents is maintained.
However if you arranged a closed or semi-closed
adoption, you may initiate contact with your child when he/she reaches
18 years of age.
In Ontario, there is an Adoption Disclosure
Register in the office of the adoption coordinator in the Ministry
of Community and Social Services. When the adopted child is 18 yrs.
old, he/she may register with the register. Forms are available
from any Children's Aid Society or directly from the Register.
The birth parents may also register after the
child is 18. Both parent and child must be entered in the registry.
The adoptive parents are advised of the registry during their home
study process so they will be aware that this is possible after
the child's 18th birthday.
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