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Expectant Parents: available services

What is Private Adoption?
Private adoption offers you an opportunity to plan an adoption for your child. A private adoption is a private arrangement between you and the prospective adoptive parents. This plan is facilitated by a third party called a licensee.

The licensee, usually a lawyer or social worker, is licensed by the Ministry of Community and Social Services to place children for adoption.

Who can I talk to about adoption?
The first person that you should talk to would be a private adoption licensee. This person can give you detailed information about the adoption process and explain to you the various adoption options available to you.

If you decide to work with this licensee, the licensee will hire an adoption worker who will provide you with support, guidance, and suggestions regarding the details of your adoption plan. Counselling is available for both parents and other members of the birth family.

Is private adoption legal?
Private adoption is legal. The Ministry has specific guidelines and requirements for all professionals involved in private adoption.

Who pays for the services?
The prospective adoptive parents pay for all services (e.g. counselling, legal services etc.) regardless of your final decision.

How are adoptive parents screened?
Before a child can be placed in an adoptive home, the prospective parents must be interviewed several times (home study) by a social worker approved to perform this task. The social worker must be satisfied with their ability to bring up a child in a loving, safe and congenial home. They must be in good physical health, have enough income to ensure the child's future and the ability to guide the child to maturity. They are educated about all aspects of the adoption process, with emphasis on the special role of adoptive parents. The home study also includes references, police checks, financial statements and medical reports.

In addition, when a couple wants to join ARCS, they must attend a one-day workshop on open adoption. They then arrange to meet with Jennie E. Painter for a two to three hour interview. If the couple feels it is important for the child to have the opportunity to maintain a relationship with members of the birth family, then their names are added to our list of waiting adoptive parents.

What can I know about the adopting parents?
You will have the opportunity to choose the kind of home and parents you would like for your child.

All the adoptive parents prepare profiles of themselves that will be presented to you. There may be up to 40 as this is the maximum number of couples that we work with at one time. These letters contain information about the couple's values, a description of all aspects of their lives, and how they hope to develop a relationship with you.

You are then asked to short-list the couples, choosing those couples that interest you the most. Additional information about these selected couples will then be presented to you. (info about couples' home, interests, education, employment, parenting style, family etc.)

If you do not feel satisfied with any of the homes presented, you will be offered further profiles. It is important that you are satisfied with your choice and that you make your wishes known.

Can I meet the adoptive parents?
Once you have chosen a couple to parent your child, a match meeting is arranged. A match meeting is where you are introduced to the chosen couple by your licensee or social worker. All couples registered with ARCS look forward to meeting with the birth parents. The meeting can be held in your home, the ARCS office, or anywhere you would feel comfortable.

This would be a structured meeting. Some preparation is given to everyone in advance. Both birth parents and adoptive parents are asked to submit questions/answers before the meeting.

What if my Doctor, friend, co-worker etc. knows a family that wants to adopt my baby?
Ask that person to contact ARCS. We will make sure that the couple has a home study completed, and a prepared profile to present to you.

How does a child become legally free for adoption?
Any time after the child is a full seven days old, the birth parent(s) sign a Consent to Adoption. This consent must be signed in the presence of a lawyer. If the birth father is acknowledging paternity, has lived with or supported the mother, he must also sign the consent.

Following the signing of the consent, the birth parents have 21 days in which they can change their minds and withdraw their consent. The withdrawal must be in writing and the birth parent must obtain the withdrawal form from the person placing the child for adoption (the Licensee). It is then the responsibility of this Licensee to return the child to the birth parents.

The person arranging the adoption of your child must offer you the opportunity to seek counselling and independent legal advice before you sign the consent. If the birth parents are under 18 years of age, in addition to signing the consent, you must also be seen by a representative of the official guardian so that all your rights are explained to you and you fully understand what they are signing. Your social worker or the licensee will arrange an appointment with the representative of the official guardian in your area.

Can I change my mind?
You can change your mind at any time up to the end of the 21 days after signing the Consent to Adoption. No one should pressure you about your decision. Your social worker is there to help you sort out whatever decision is right for your child and you.

What happens if the Birth mother and Birth father disagree on the placement?
There are many different types of relationships between birth mothers and birth fathers. Ideally, it is best if the birthparents agree and participate in the adoption process together; however many birth parents find this difficult and some are no longer in contact with one another. In some cases, there is anger between the parents.

ARCS has experience in working with many different situations and will be able to advise you regarding your specific circumstances.

Will I be able to see my baby in hospital?
Yes. You are the parent of the child and have all the rights of a parent. However, birth parents differ in the amount of time and kinds of contact they feel they can have with their babies. There is no right or wrong way to be. Whatever is comfortable for you is the right way.

Will my baby be placed from the hospital directly into the adoptive home?
Where or when you place your baby with the adoptive parents is up to you. The actual placement can occur wherever you feel most comfortable. Many placements occur in the hospital but some occur in the birthparents' home, church, our office, etc. In addition, some birthparents wish to have some kind of ceremony to celebrate the child's birth and the love that the birth and adoptive parents have for the child. Your social worker will have ideas about adoption rituals.

Can I have pictures of my baby and/or information on how he/she is doing after placement?
Talk to your social worker about your wishes. ARCS requires all adoptive parents to provide pictures and letters about the child at 1, 3, 6, 9 and 12 months after placement. If the birth parents do not want to have these pictures or letters immediately, they are kept on file and may be obtained at any time in the future.

Can I give my baby a gift, or pictures of myself, the birth father and members of our families?
Yes, this is possible and very much encouraged. Not only might it be helpful and reassuring for you to do this, but may be beneficial to your child.

What if I need someone to talk to after the child is placed?
You may need support for a continued period of time after placement. ARCS provides counseling to the birthparents until the adoption is finalized. This is usually a nine-month period (after placement). If further counseling is needed, you may wish to continue to work with the same counselor or a referral is made to an appropriate counselor.

Will I know when my baby's adoption has been completed?
ARCS will inform you when the adoption has been completed. It takes seven to nine months before an adoption is finalized in court. During this time, the couple's social worker is visiting the adoptive family to offer support and to see if the baby is thriving. A recommendation by this social worker is made at least six months after placement. This report is reviewed by the licensee and court. If everything is in order, the adoption is finalized.

After the adoption is finalized, will I ever be able to see my child?
In open adoption contact among the child and adoptive and birth parents is maintained.

However if you arranged a closed or semi-closed adoption, you may initiate contact with your child when he/she reaches 18 years of age.

In Ontario, there is an Adoption Disclosure Register in the office of the adoption coordinator in the Ministry of Community and Social Services. When the adopted child is 18 yrs. old, he/she may register with the register. Forms are available from any Children's Aid Society or directly from the Register.

The birth parents may also register after the child is 18. Both parent and child must be entered in the registry. The adoptive parents are advised of the registry during their home study process so they will be aware that this is possible after the child's 18th birthday.

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jennie_painter@yahoo.ca | Adoption Resource and Counselling Services (ARCS) | Kingston: 613 542 0275 tel/fax | Toronto: 1 866 255 4855 toll free